Monday, October 13, 2008

"Don't Forget Me"

The last few months that I lived in Miami were bittersweet. I was so excited to start something new and exciting in North Carolina, but I hated having to leave behind everything I knew and loved. I don't usually cry about Grandma, and never in front of her, but it was different on my last morning there.
August 7, 2008.
I had my 4 closest friends helping load up the Uhaul, and eating pastelitos.
I had my parents walking around in a frenzied mess.
My aunt and grandmother visited, saying the last goodbyes.
I said goodbye to Grandma, who wasn't very sad since she would soon forget again that I was moving away.
I didn't see it coming, but when I hugged Grandma I started crying. For real. Streaming tears I had a hard time choking back. And I said the hardest words to her I have ever said to her, and asked her for the one thing that would be hardest for her to give.
"Don't forget me."
She smiled and replied, "Of course I won't. I love you."
But I knew the truth. Deep down. Little by little, like kudzu, her memories of me would lose ground.
I take refuge in the fact that I won't forget her. Before the dementia. And after.
And I love her.
And I understand.